Melonade

It's Friday, and that means taking the easy way out. Just like casual Fridays, today's blog will be very easy-going.

I could tell you all about the new Batman movie I saw last night, but you've probably either a) already seen it and don't need me to tell you, or b) haven't seen it and would be upset if I gave too much away. I'll just take the easy way out by saying it was better than I expected, and I look forward to the next installment.

For the rest of my EWO (easy way out) blog, here are some things you can read, no purchase necessary. If you don't feel like reading anymore, you can stop now and go on to more interesting internet content. I won't be offended.

Enjoy your day.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

It's always darkest before dawn. So, if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Weighing the positives and negatives of beginning yet another WoT book without a break, I went ahead and ignored the advice of those who told me to move on to other pastures. I decided to go ahead and start Three yesterday.

Never fear! I have a plan!

Well, the plan was in place over a week ago. I had a coupon for BN and bought a brand new book (Nick Hornby's new release) for half price and then turned it over to a friend and asked him to hold it hostage until I finished Book Three. Said book is now sitting in the trunk of his car with the other dozen books he keeps in there. I'm sure all the books are having a very nice time together.

Book Three comes in at 675 pages, and font sizing and margins aside, that makes it the smallest so far. Since we're measuring everything in pages, that's all I have to go by. I should be able to finish in a week if I don't let other things distract me...but I am easily distracted. For you few who are disappointed in my reading choice, I promise to take a small break to read my new book (and maybe do a little editing, too).

Enjoy your day.

My reading pace for Book Two is not what it was for Book One. That's partially because I made a trip home for Father's Day weekend and didn't read as much as I'd planned. Only 80 pages to go, though.

I am contemplating a brief hiatus from WoT, either after finishing Book Two or Book Three (which already awaits me at home). There are a few reasons for the proposed break: 1) I like to vary what I read, and the last two weeks and 1500 pages have been nothing but WoT; 2) I have stacks of other non-WoT books that I haven't read, and they are calling to me; and 3) I don't want to become obsessed.

Reasons for not taking a break: 1) My 61 page-per-day goal (which I have to meet in order to read all the books by the release of Book Eleven) will greatly increase if I slip in some other stuff; 2) my memory has not been great, and if I stay away too long I will probably forget half of what's happened and be even more confused; 3) if I keep reading and exceed my goal every day, I will have time to read other books before October comes.

It will probably be my luck that these last 80 pages will be so good that I will want to go straight to the next one and forget all about my other books. Oh well.

Here's your chance to make an impact on my reading selection. Think of it as a not-as-exciting Choose Your Own Adventure book. If you want Mel to keep reading WoT with no thoughts of other books, turn to page 23. If you think she would be better off taking a break and catching up on her normal reading, turn to page 35.

Enjoy your day.

I used to hate math. Elementary math didn't give me any trouble, but 5th grade was a turning point, and now it is my enemy. I could say that I had some bad teachers (which is entirely true...anyone from my school would agree), but that's not a helpful excuse. Now, instead of just hating math, I hate that I don't understand math.

As an administrative assistant for civil engineers, I'm up to my eyeballs in pay estimates, change orders, and other math-filled forms. My trusty TI-34 calculator (the same one I've had since 7th grade math) is close at all times because I don't trust myself to come up with correct figures. I don't know why my brain never could understand math. Some of you probably think that's crazy. I made it through college without a single math-related class. The only reason was that during freshman orientation we all took a math test (I took the harder one; I don't remember how.) to determine our mathmatical abilities. Well, I passed it, and poof, no math classes necessary for this English major.

I try to warn my bosses that I'm mathmatically inept, but they don't always review paperwork when I ask them to, and that comes back to bite me. I don't enjoy admitting when I'm deficient in a certain area, but I will gladly advertise my math weaknesses. Three such math instances have recently arisen, and while the errors are somewhat my fault, I believe that blame also lies with the engineers who did not review (as they should have) before they signed. Inevitably, the blame falls on me (and it's heavy), and I end up looking stupid in front of clients. I hate that.

If you are still at an age where you can choose to learn math via the basic techniques (i.e., school, in one form or another), then by all means, do it. Even if you imagine that "when you grow up" you will have some fantastically fabulous occupation that doesn't even require you to know 2+2, trust me, you'll need it more than you realize.

Enjoy your day (and your math, if you still can).

Found this at the Overheard in the Office site. Enjoy.

A Sharpie for the None Too Sharp

Suit: Do you have what I call a "sharpie"?
Secretary: ...what you call a sharpie?
Suit: Yes.
Secretary: ...you and no one else?
Suit: It's like a, a felt-tipped pen.
Secretary: Oh, I know what it is.
Suit: Well, most people don't know what it's called.
Secretary: You're kidding, right? It says it right on the pen.
Suit: Well, do you have one?
Secretary: Yes. Yes, I do. I keep it here in what I call my "drawer".

795 Spring Street
San Francisco, California

Mail issues still abound. No mail showed up over the weekend and we called the USPS hotline to complain.

First sign of worry: the person at the hotline doesn't know how to spell Oklahoma.

C'mon people. It's not that difficult. And even if it were, there's a song to help you out. (Orchestra swells.) Everybody now!

Enjoy your musicals.

For those of you who are keeping up, I finished Book One today, racking up over 400 pages Saturday afternoon/evening. Except for a little cleaning and video-gaming, I didn't do anything but read. Yes, this meant that I didn't do much editing this week, but I really just wanted to push through and finish. I know I'll never catch up to the guys who are already on Five or Seven or whatever, but I'm still proud that I read the whole thing in a week.

This morning I started Book Two. Last time I only read the prologue before giving up on this one, so we'll see how long I can last. The problem is not that I don't want to know what happens; it's that I don't want to wade through the unneccessary stuff to get there. And yeah, I think there's some unneccessary stuff...I'm sure this will get a few people searching for something heavy to throw in my direction.

There's not much else to tell right now. I really am as boring as people say.

It's been a pretty good day, but our mail delivery, or lack thereof, has been extremely frustrating this week, being ridiculously late or completely nonexistent every day this week. We rely heavily on the USPS to carry stuff all over the state between clients, contractors, and agencies, and people around here get really cranky when the mail doesn't show up on time, not to mention when it doesn't come at all. Our suspicion is that the current source of problem is a stand-in for our regular delivery person. I daresay the postal service is one of the most important institutions we have, and they should be more reliable. Last week, a letter was returned to us-- one of those undeliverable for unknown reasons. The postmark was last November, so the thing had been circulating who-knows-where for at least six months. I don't think that's reasonable at all.

Disclaimer: if you, kind reader, are a postal worker, please do not misunderstand my complaint. I do not think that all postal workers are incompetent. I just think it's time that the system stepped up.

In other news, I've passed the 300-page mark in Book One. I can't believe I'm trying so hard to read a book that I didn't really like the first time around. I must be crazy.

Enjoy your weekend.

This is the point in the month when I'm quite relieved that I didn't take on any absurd bets about finishing my 50 editing hours in 30 days. It's already Day 9, and I've only done about 5-ish hours of editing. Too bad I can't count the hours I spend daydreaming about the book...I'd have used up all my hours in a week.

Speaking of the book, I need to make some decisions about the second draft process. (You could argue that I should have made these decisions before I started, and you'd probably be right, but who wants to be conventional like that?) Since I publicized the first draft effort so very much, most people I know will start their conversations with me by asking how it's going and when they can read it. (Isn't it crazy? There are people who actually want to read stuff I've written!)

If you don't already know, I'll tell you right now that I am an approval addict. I'm pretty sure that happiness levels are directly connected to my approval collection system. Get enough approval, the happiness flows freely to both mind and body, making life seem rosy even if it isn't. But if I'm running low on approval, my happy juices just don't flow.

Don't see how that relates? Here, I'll show you:
Take one Mel, mildly content with life.
Add three conversations where people ask her about her book and tell her they can't wait to read it.
Add one email from friend praising the latest exerpt sent for comments.
Add one Jamba Juice.
Stir until ingredients are well-blended.
Refrigerate for at least two hours. Happiness will thicken as the mixture cools, and Mel will be able to write with complete confidence, or just provide pleasant company.
Served best with a side of silliness.

I know, I know. It shouldn't matter what people think, but we all know that's not true. And so, I have to decide who I'm willing to share the story with while it's still in a precarious place. I already have one totally reliable friend and opinion-giver who has proven herself to be honest, detailed, and encouraging even when I don't deserve it.

And then there's the other one.

Friend B has agreed to read the first two pages (that's all I'm willing to share right now). I freely offered, but I'm also flat out terrified that he'll think it's stupid. There's a very strong possibility that will be the case. It took months (wait, probably years) to let him read the first half of my first book, and after he did, we never talked about it. Naturally, I think the worst because of the silence. Take two, and the same fears arise. So now we ask the questions:

If B hates it, is it because he is not the target audience for this story? (Maybe.)
If B hates it, does it mean it's bad and I should trash it? (No. Wait, maybe. Wait, no. No! Right? What do you think, B?)
Have I put too much stock in what he says? (Um, probably, but I already knew that.)
Can I rely on him to be supportive even if he doesn't like it? (I always think this is a big, fat No.)

So, to share or not to share. Feel free to post your opinions, even if you don't know (or care) who I'm talking about.

Tried a new juice/smoothie place last night after church. There were coupons and pressure, so I agreed to forego my dependable Jamba Juice for something new. I've got to say that it wasn't as good. I am a Mel of second chances, so they might have another opportunity to change my mind, but I won't be giving up the Jamba any time soon.

Well, hope that wasn't too unpleasant. Thanks for reading.

Enjoy your day.

There are days when I hate being a girl. Today is one of those days.

At least I found a new shirt on sale. That will almost make things better.

I don't know what I'm going to write about here, but the blogging itch has returned, and so here I am.

It's snow cone season, and that makes me happy. Last summer brought the discovery of a lovely little place and many happy evenings of summer snow. (This particular stand, for those of you who are locals, is near 15th and Kelly. Buy 8, get the 9th one free!) They say they have Oklahoma's finest snow cones. I don't know if that's true, but it is pretty dang good stuff. As a girl who spent two summers pouring syrup on icy domes, I know what it takes to make a quality snow cone. I'm pretty sure delivery is out of the question, but if you're ever in town, I recommend the half-and-half Raspberry/Lime.

Read another 50 pages of Book One. Not as many as I would have liked, but other things took precedent, like a blog reward dinner and snow cones. After getting back, I sat down with the manuscript and worked for a solid hour. How much editing can I do in an hour? Two pages! That doesn't sound like much, but I added a lot more than I took out, and it was good work. At this pace, I'll never get through the whole thing in a month, but I'm okay with that.

People are generally surprised when I tell them it will take two or three more drafts and several months before I start looking for a publisher. I don't know if this is because I wrote the first draft in 30 days or they think first drafts are perfect, but I don't get it. Good books take time, people! And even if this turns out to be a lousy book...well, those take time, too.

On a completely different note, I have become a huge fan of internet radio, specifically Live365.com. Free membership with minimal advertising spots (and only brief ones for itself or cds). Best of all, I have found a station that plays mostly DMB and very few other songs I don't like. And one of my new favorites, Steady as We Go, just played as I was writing this, so I thought I'd mention it.

Enjoy your day.

After downright begging from a certain boy I know, I have decided to give The Wheel of Time series a second chance.

If you've never heard of WoT, I can't really help you there, except to say that Book Eleven is due out in October, and a handful of people are excited about it.

The first time the boy tried to talk me into getting wrapped up in the ridiculously long series of superchunky novels, I finally gave in and read the Book One. I think this was around December '03, if my near-failing memory has any juice left. I read it, but wasn't as impressed as he thought I should be. Book Two was at my disposal, but I only got a few pages into it before shelving it. Sure, there were good things about the book, but something about it just didn't sit well with me, so I didn't feel the need to keep reading. (For those of you who are offended by my reaction to the book, I promise to make notes this time around.)

Seventy pages down, seven hundred-something to go.

Wish me luck.

Enjoy your day.

In recent days I have been accused of having a boring blog. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to most of you, as I am a fairly boring person when not surrounded by other more interesting people. You know who you are. Isn’t it possible that I am meant to balance things out? I would like to think that this is true to a certain extent, or that someday I will find my interesting times were not all bunched up in the last two years of college.

I’m in a relatively bad mood this morning, and I don’t like it at all. Contrary to what you may be thinking, I don’t get any satisfaction and/or pleasure from bad moods. I don’t know whether to blame it on girly horomones or recent lack of sleep, but either way, it’s downright unpleasant.

“Lack” may be the wrong word; I’ve been sleeping enough, but not well, and most of my dreams have consisted of long, arduous chases away from murdering fiends. So far, none of them have caught me, but that's probably going to change. I’m not sure what brought them on, but they make me feel like I’ve slept for a couple of hours instead of seven or eight.

This morning after hitting the snooze button more times than I should have, I finally turned on the TV and tried to get ready. The first thing I saw was a commercial for Ruby Tuesday, and it made me think of my favorite Loraine and my recent vacation excursion to Tennessee. (For those of you who are as clueless as I was, it’s a restaurant chain that we Oklahomans have not been privileged to experience. And yes, it’s named after the song, which I had never heard until I was in Tennessee.) Ah, Tennessee. Nice state. Good weather. The biggest used book/cd/dvd store I’ve ever seen. Those Knoxville folk are lucky to have such a wonderful store as McKay’s. Any place where I can buy a decent book for two bucks and a cd for eight is okay in my book.

I’m sure this blog is as snooze-worthy as the others, but that’s not the point. I guess it’s really just a cheap excuse for an apology to those of you who have: a) had to endure my boring writing, or b) been subjected to my foul moods of late, or c) all of the above.

And so, the first person to mention this blog to me (either by phone or in person) will win a free dinner just for making it to the end.