Singlehood
Thursday, February 10, 2005 by Mel
I am single. I’ve never been married or engaged or even had a real relationship, come to think of it. And hey, it’s not so bad most of the time. I can spend all the money I make on myself and take long showers without worrying about using all the hot water. I have sole choice of what I watch on tv, and if I want to have a ham and cheese omelette for dinner, I don’t have to check in with anybody else. Yep, it’s great. Except for that pesky mid-February holiday when Mylar bouquets remind me that I don’t have anyone, singlehood is fabulous.
Being single is so fantastic that we even have an entire class at church dedicated to those of us who are unattached. It gives me hope. If there are 120 other young, interesting people who are in the Singles class, singlehood can’t be the stigma we are taught that it is. (Or perhaps the class exists to erase said stigma, because we don’t fill up our time with speed dating courses or lessons on how to snag the perfect mate.) I say celebrate your singleness! When people at family reunions ask about my dating status, those disappointed looks I get shouldn’t phase me at all.
I should be honest. Just because I am single and can be satisfied by it doesn’t mean that I want to be single forever. I have been known on one or two occassions to date unsuccessfully, and there were even times when I admitted feelings to someone who did not reciprocate them. I don't want to end up as the neighborhood crazy cat lady. For a person like me who tries to avoid rejection in any form, such failure is very painful, but those are the times when I’m thankful that while I can only have one husband, I can have a dozen good friends who support me.
There is a time for everything, and I do hope there is a time when I will find someone with which I can share the remote control (as long as he doesn’t want to watch Sports Center all day—that’s going a bit too far). And so I defy you, Valentine’s Day, and all of you who try to express a year’s worth of feelings in 24 hours. Don’t think you have to be mushy just for the sake of the holiday.
Here are my observations, readers:
1) If you are in a good relationship, I congratulate you. I hope that you can appreciate what you have found.
2) If you are not single but still find yourself dating someone who makes you miserable, please do not use your hope of a nice Valentine’s gift as an excuse for staying in the relationship.
3) If you don’t fall into categories 1 or 2, don’t believe that singlehood means you’re all alone! I can say this because I have been guilty of such a belief and my friends have made me see that boys aren’t everything in life. May I suggest an anti-Valentine’s celebration? Gather your single friends together, eat good food, and watch a movie with absolutely no romantic themes. Do not under any circumstances purchase a gigantic heart-shaped box of chocolate and consume the whole thing while sitting alone and watching the sappy chick flick of your choice.
Okay, say it with me, “Boys aren’t everything.” There, don’t you feel better? Repeat as necessary until you believe it.
Being single is so fantastic that we even have an entire class at church dedicated to those of us who are unattached. It gives me hope. If there are 120 other young, interesting people who are in the Singles class, singlehood can’t be the stigma we are taught that it is. (Or perhaps the class exists to erase said stigma, because we don’t fill up our time with speed dating courses or lessons on how to snag the perfect mate.) I say celebrate your singleness! When people at family reunions ask about my dating status, those disappointed looks I get shouldn’t phase me at all.
I should be honest. Just because I am single and can be satisfied by it doesn’t mean that I want to be single forever. I have been known on one or two occassions to date unsuccessfully, and there were even times when I admitted feelings to someone who did not reciprocate them. I don't want to end up as the neighborhood crazy cat lady. For a person like me who tries to avoid rejection in any form, such failure is very painful, but those are the times when I’m thankful that while I can only have one husband, I can have a dozen good friends who support me.
There is a time for everything, and I do hope there is a time when I will find someone with which I can share the remote control (as long as he doesn’t want to watch Sports Center all day—that’s going a bit too far). And so I defy you, Valentine’s Day, and all of you who try to express a year’s worth of feelings in 24 hours. Don’t think you have to be mushy just for the sake of the holiday.
Here are my observations, readers:
1) If you are in a good relationship, I congratulate you. I hope that you can appreciate what you have found.
2) If you are not single but still find yourself dating someone who makes you miserable, please do not use your hope of a nice Valentine’s gift as an excuse for staying in the relationship.
3) If you don’t fall into categories 1 or 2, don’t believe that singlehood means you’re all alone! I can say this because I have been guilty of such a belief and my friends have made me see that boys aren’t everything in life. May I suggest an anti-Valentine’s celebration? Gather your single friends together, eat good food, and watch a movie with absolutely no romantic themes. Do not under any circumstances purchase a gigantic heart-shaped box of chocolate and consume the whole thing while sitting alone and watching the sappy chick flick of your choice.
Okay, say it with me, “Boys aren’t everything.” There, don’t you feel better? Repeat as necessary until you believe it.
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Sing it, Mel! We are brighter, nicer, more pleasant to talk to, and just plain better smelling than boys. I know eventually, we all give in to one darn lucky boy, but there's no reason not to put up a fight about it. ;)